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Lol
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sevens
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The Popeye Doyle of his own Mexican Connection, Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona has taken it upon himself to be the right hand of justice in the fight against illegal immigration. Unfortunately for him, that right hand is about to be wrung by the U.S. Justice Department. The Obama administration has announced that it plans to sue Arpaio and his department over civil rights violations for its actions taken towards the Latino community.
Essentially, the stance Sheriff Arpaio has taken towards combating illegal immigration is pretty simple. Don’t be brown. If a stereotype of your ethnicity has ever been portrayed in a cartoon enjoying beans and rice, you will most likely be seeing a jail cell in Maricopa County. Allegations brought against Arpaio and his deputies include jailing a hispanic driver for 13 days because he did not use a turn signal, officers intentionally striking Latino’s with their patrol cars, and punishing hispanic inmates for speaking Spanish. It won’t take much to catch Arpaio’s attention either. Immigration patrols have been launched from such minor instances as groups of dark skinned people in one area. Things have gotten so bad that the U.S. Justice Department has saught an agreement that would “require the sheriff’s office teach officers on how to make constitutional traffic stops.” That’s right, Arpaio’s deputies need to be taught the essentials that even the cast of Police Academy grasped.
Arpaio’s crusade against the non-American made isn’t just the least favorite gift that a Latino could receive. Arpaio is re-gifting his hate all the way to the top, announcing his investigation into the legitimacy of President Obama’s birth certificate. Upon hearing the news, President Obama replied “who?” and then eye-rolled so hard that he suffered whiplash. Arpaio claims that President Obama’s birth certificate and selective service cards have been fabricated. Apparently aside from being a 79 year old racist, Arpaio can add forensic scientist to his resume. Too bad he can’t add multi-tasking to his resume, because Arpaio’s department has decided to forgo hundreds of neglected sex case crimes to investigate the Pesident. Arpaio is so convinced of the forgery that he has accused the Republican Presidential nominees of being in on the conspiracy. The investigation of the president’s birth certificate was spurned at the request of 250 Arizona tea partiers. This begs to question what if we investigated everything that the tea party didn’t trust? Bio-duels and mom’s who don’t wear spandex waist jeans would never be the same again.
Sheriff Arpaio is just a small part of a bigger problem that is immigration policy in Arizona. Hotly contested immigration law SB 1070 would turn The Grand Canyon state into an ethnic profilers paradise. The law would make it a crime to not carry immigration papers at all times while requiring officers to detain anyone they suspect is in the country illegally. In Arizona, being tall, dark, and handsome will only land you a date with a courtroom. It’s so worrisome that Mexico has issued a travel advisory to any of its citizens crossing the border, effectively turning Arizona into the eastern Iran.
As hispanic populations rise across the United States, many Americans have chosen to combat it in a search for some imagined nationalism. Instead of embracing new cultures and working towards a sensible solution, we have enacted a modern day witch hunt for anyone who may have a relative named Juan. Where once the United States was a beacon of hope for the down-trodden, we have since become no country for brown men.
Its about fucking time
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